The Grief Ritual in Paonia, Colorado for October 25-27, 2024 has been postponed. The land and other world told us to wait and as we tune into this more, it may be changing its format entirely. Stay connected here to learn more about what’s being created. In the meantime, read below for the previous plan. Thank you. ~Amber, Wendy & Beth

Grief is defined as deep sorrow resulting from loss. As anyone who has grieved knows, it can encompass layers of emotion from rage to sadness and even fear, and can include feelings of disappointment, betrayal, confusion, anxiety or emptiness. There are griefs large and small that can accumulate as we navigate the choices presented by daily life. 

 Ungrieved, these emotions act as toxins in the mind, body, spirit and interpersonal spheres, leading to all manner of illness and dysfunction. These toxic stuck emotions must be cleared from our systems in order to renew the joy, receptivity, creativity and ability to thrive that is our birthright. 

 Modern industrial cultures generally do not afford much spaciousness or support around the grieving process. We normally grieve in isolation, behind closed doors, while telling those around us we are “fine”. 

In many indigenous cultures grief is held in a different light. Grief is seen as a natural process in which it is okay to express our pain and be witnessed by others. Imagine if when we felt deep grief our loved ones and community members gathered around us to help “empty the bucket” of our sorrow by crying together. 

 The Community Grief Ritual in Paonia is in the style of the Dagara tribe of Western Africa passed on to us by Elder Malidoma Somé and Sobonfu Somé, both from Burkina Faso. No grief is too big or too insignificant to be moved through this container. Grief does not conform to conceptual boundaries, so we could find ourselves helping to move stuck grief from ancestral, geographical or historical lineages we assumed were unrelated to us. The more we are available to grieve, the more healing we provide to the earth and humankind. 

 In the words of Sobonfu Somé, “Communal grieving offers something that we cannot get when we grieve by ourselves. Through validation, acknowledgement and witnessing, communal grieving allows us to experience a level of healing that is deeply and profoundly freeing. Each of us has a basic human right to that genuine love, happiness and freedom.” 

 “Any time a feeling of loss arises, there is an energy that demands ritual in order to allow reconciliation and the return to peace. Grief must be approached as a release of tension created by separation and disconnection from someone or something that we love.” -Malidoma Somé

The Community Grief Ritual in Paonia will be facilitated by Wendy Kaas, Beth Erlander and Amber Van Cleave. 

We ask that you please share with us if you believe yourself to be in a mental health crisis, and if so, what support you have available. Grief Rituals are tremendously healing, and can also expose and open traumas and past wounds. We care deeply that this is an appropriate choice for all who attend.  

***Grief Rituals are not a substitute for therapy or mental health care.*** 

Registration Requirements  

Before you register, we ask that you complete the following: 

• Commit to the duration of the event 

• Read this entire event description carefully 

An event of this duration isn’t adequate to share the full context of the lineage of this ritual. We care deeply about honoring our teachers and their ways. Sharing their voices with you is an offering of resources, an act of respect, and an essential prerequisite for attendance. 

Once we receive your registration, we will send you a Welcome Letter with directions, a packing list, and some logistical suggestions. 

This is a community event, so we will all be working together to make it a success. We will share Friday dinner, Saturday dinner and Sunday lunch. Participants will be asked to contribute something to our shared meals (details will come in the Welcome Letter) and to help with setup and cleanup of our space and our meals. Please be alert and prepared to chip in as necessary. Thank you.  

Tuition is $200-$400 sliding scale (guidelines below). A portion of tuition will be donated with gratitude to benefit the Dagara and Ute tribes.

Please choose the tuition amount that is financially accessible to you. 

$300 This level supports us to offer this ritual to our community and give back a percentage to the indigenous tribes who make this possible and in whose homeland we live.

$301-$400 For those who want to help ensure our expenses are met with enough room to give back to the tribes and support those struggling with basic needs to attend this ritual.

$200-$299 For students, seniors, those earning lower income who are meeting basic needs. 

For those struggling to meet basic needs, please contact us about scholarship or work trade possibilities. 

Any tuition over $400 will be added directly onto the percentage donated to the tribes.

To register or inquire, please email griefritualpaonia@gmail.com or call/text 970-623-6272 and leave a message.

“Become a person. Make beauty out of grief. Become real people who might have untenable rotten ideas, but who in the end grow into solid old people who are generous and unconniving, people who know things and don’t just see everything as a business opportunity. Be courageous, make your hate into an art of love beyond your wants, and stop sending undigested grief in the form of sorrow frozen into hate into the arms of the future. Hand over the world with some modicum of the possibility for peace.” -Martín Prechtel 

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